Saturday, October 12, 2013
That Mirror Moment...
We've been together for...what? Approximately 6 weeks or so, right? So, I think we have reached that point where we can really start to do some introspective reflection. (I'm being a bit facetious here, intentionally. I really do know all your blogs require introspection, and that you have willingly (I hope) given yourselves over to that.)
So, although I cannot make you do this, I would like you to minimize all distractions while you think about this blog. Exercise your right to have "You" time; put away your iPods, cell phones and Wii remotes and for the sake of all that's holy--close Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, ESPN, POLITICO, the Onion (my personal weakness) or whatever time suck application/site you have open. I know those things are necessary to, in some cases, restore sanity, unwind or engage in healthy social discourse--but for now, maximize the "quiet."
Every day, you wake up, go through your morning rituals, come to school, do your thing(s), go home, go through your evening rituals and then go to bed.
There are obviously some variations to this routine from time to time, and I am not trying to downplay your life in any way by making it sound mundane; that is not the idea here. What I am saying is, that through all of this, these daily activities, rituals and routines people interact with you.
They talk to you, refer to you, question you, yell at you, soothe you, talk about you, defer to you or, in some cases, though hopefully not many, ignore you completely. The point is, they KNOW who you are, at least enough to do one or more of the previous things.
But, when you stop to think about it, do they really know? And, more importantly, do YOU?
Beyond names, job titles or academic accomplishments, beyond labels given by yourself or by others, who are you? Who are you inside? If you had to write your name, and then your definition, what would it say? Would it be a collection of traits, hobbies and virtues? Would you be able to strip yourselves cleanly of those three things and still define yourself? Why or why not?
Ready, set, GO....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I like this post because it makes me ponder on something I usually avoid: who am I? Honestly, I don't know. I have always judged myself by what others call me, if someone told me I was a heartless jerk then that's what I believed myself to be. It's not a good thing, I know, but it's just how my life was for awhile. Now, I think I know myself to an extent, but still some people know me better than I know myself. That is not an exaggeration, I really mean that. Although for now, just to answer this post I'll give you my thoughts on who I am. I'm Daniel Avila, and I try my best to be a good person. By that, I don't mean I go out and find the hungry or save cats from trees (although I should). I mean that when an opportunity presents itself to help another person, even at consequence to myself, I still do it. Or at the very least attempt to. Inside I'm a confused teenage kid who sees a giant world in front of him with so many opportunities and dangers. Beyond all labels, I'm just a guy trying to make the world a better place than when I first arrived. I'm not saint though, I've had my fair share of sins and mistakes. I've had heartbreak, I've broken hearts, I've done things I'm not proud of. Still though, I do everything in my power to make this world better. That's all I really think people should try to do, make this world a better place for everyone. Now if I had to write my definition, it'd be the type of definition that would say: See this word. Then that word would be defined as: See this word. It would go on and on and on. I say this because I can't define myself, I was never able to. My views on things change and my thoughts change with it. I'm just a guy, I'm just a student at Oakcrest high school, I'm just a person in 12th period Lang. I'm nothing special. Actually, there ya go. My definition would be "Nothing special". I'm content with that, I've made my small changes in the world however I could. I'm not going to go and scream for fame and glory, I'd rather be someone behind the scenes who just tries his best. Defining myself isn't my traits, hobbies or virtues, anyone could tell me that. In fact, people have told me all that about me and I believed them. Defining myself is figuring out what I think the world views me as and what I wouldn't mind being seen as. It's a good thing being able to define yourself without using those 3 things, it shows you know your place in the world and what you're meant to do. I'm nothing special. I most likely won't go on and become president or win a Nobel prize, but hey, maybe I'll be able to hug someone who's crying and give them a little comfort. It's nothing world changing, but to the one person, it could mean the world. To me, it means I've done my job on this earth, I've helped people in small ways that led to their happiness. That is something special.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that the way you defined yourself on pen and paper was just brilliant. See this word, see this word, see this word. It is both comedic and deep. It speaks to your uncertainty but what is definitely certain is how well you put the way you interpret yourself in context. It’s a shame that you define yourself by the way others interpret you. I think someone as talented and put together as you ought to be able to define himself. You are definitely more than “nothing special.” If I were to take our friendship completely out of the equation and focus only on your post, I would still think that. Your awesome analogy is a testament to how you are not “nothing special.” Don’t let others dictate how you feel about yourself. Because at the end of the day what does it matter what they think? You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life so you might as well learn to like yourself.
DeleteDan, I've been sitting here reading this post, and trying to figure out how to express myself. You pretty much got it. I agree, who really knows who they are, because for sure, I have no clue. I like how you see yourself as a person who would rather make someone else's day brighter than live with fame and glory. I often try to put others before me so I can understand where your coming from. But either way, I wouldn't say you're "nothing special", everyone has specialties in them, for us, we might just still need to fine them.
DeleteI can't tell you how much I loved your blog. Seriously. And I'm not saying that as an attempt to fill up space here. Your post was touching. You were so honest and plain about yourself and it was really admirable. I loved how you proved that being "president or a nobel prize winner" isn't what life is to be defined by. Because in reality, it's okay to be a small part in this process of life. After all, to any ordinary person, a president is just a man in a suit making occasional speeches and flashing smiles on posters and billboards. However, to be one that can simply hug a crying person can be more impacting than any big name or big break can bring.
DeletePart One:
ReplyDeleteAs I sit here in the silence of my bedroom, my mind is furiously pondering this question. Who am I? My eyes wander around the room and find meaning in the plaques and trophies scattered around the walls, the pile of clean laundry sitting on the desk, the nick-knacks and trinkets decorating the shelves. I often assume that these are the things that define me, my accomplishments, my hobbies, my clothing, and my interests. They encompass the shell of who I am; they are perceivably the make-up of Bryanna. But this blog has forced me to reconsider this notion and entertain the proposal that who I am has roots that reach far below this outer composition.
We are all people, people participating in society, interacting, reacting, and sharing our feelings, thoughts and emotions. We know each other to a certain extent, we have a general understanding of our peers and we retain morsels of their story as we spend more time together. We know some people better than others, and we are well known by a small amount of the people we encounter on a daily basis. It is a common conception, most frequent among teenagers, that our best friends know us better than anyone, that they know who we are inside and out. I would be lying if I said that I have never made that claim before, because I have. But now, I am beginning to understand the falseness of that idea. Because it’s hard for anyone to know you the way that you know yourself, and truthfully, you may not even know yourself. At least not as well as you thought you would.
Being asked to strip away my traits, hobbies, accomplishments, and virtues and really analyze who I am has proved to be a very difficult task. I have agonized over it for two days, and after much deliberation I have finally been able to corral my racing thoughts and create a definition for myself, or I suppose I should say I definition of myself. I am a teenage girl, from the outside a recognizably normal one, one with determination and ambition. An unrelenting fire burns within me with the desire to succeed and make people proud. I fear judgment and disappointment, although I have accepted that they are inevitable. I shy away from my potential because I am terrified of the opportunity for mistakes along the way. I yearn to perfect myself in every aspect of my life, a dream I know can never be accomplished. My lack of confidence is ridiculous, and it has hindered me greatly in almost every aspect of my life. I have regrets, I live with them every day. They are like a constant shadow over my head, a reminder of all the things I have done wrong and wish more than anything that I could take back. I am scared of the future, I gaze beyond the walls of Oakcrest and see the world that awaits me and I tremble. Even the thought of significant change makes me want to crawl under the blankets on my bed and stay there for the rest of my life.
Part Two:
ReplyDeleteI care much more about other people than I do about myself, and I value their happiness and opinions above my own. I often wish that I could relinquish my care about what other people think of me, but as of now I have been unsuccessful in my attempts. I love to feel as though I am making a difference, even the smallest thing, to know I made a positive impact is utterly pleasing to me. If I can make someone smile, or put someone in a good mood then I am satisfied. I try so hard to live carefree, and let my bubbly spirit outweigh any negative aspects of my personality. But underneath my desire to inflict happiness on other people, I carry a constant burden of pain in my heart every day, an ache that I try so hard to mask with a smile and cheerful attitude. I consider myself master of putting on a happy face. I work so hard to disguise my pain because I hate the attention that I receive if I allow those emotions to show. I am uncomfortable sharing my feelings, it is very difficult for me to express my emotions to other people. I am often frightened by my immense lack of affection, situations that entail a person that is crying or upset cause me discomfort beyond belief (my closest friends will understand this), which is most likely why I love to make people happy, and why I despise being upset, and even worse than being upset, making someone else upset.
I cannot confine the ‘definition of me’ to the boundaries of a sentence. Even after all my rambling, I still feel as though there is so much that I left out, so many facets of me that I failed to recognize. For so long I have based the definition of me off of secular things and the opinions of other people. I have known myself by the sports I play or the grade that I received in math class. But this blog has forced me to look farther beyond those things and discover a little more about who I really am. And if I had to sum it all up, I would say that my definition is that I am a confused teenager, trying to find where she fits in the world, battling herself everyday and relentlessly attempting to discover her purpose in life, longing for happiness but constantly weighed down by pain and burdens. We all have a deep abyss inside ourselves that over time we slowly begin to shine a light into. We discover more about ourselves all the time, but it is a process. And even after mulling it over for as long as I have, I know that there is so much that I left out.
I'm honestly so jealous at how well you answered this blog post. I've contemplated at how my response to this blog post would be, but it doesn't even compare to yours. You've read my mind and put into words the feelings I feel. I can sympathize with you in that we both lack confidence, and I think we both put up a front to hide our Achilles heel. I, specifically, like to think I'm some sort of "tough girl" who can take any insult hurled my way, but in reality, I'm just a girl who's feelings do get hurt sometimes. Our appearance, our academic and athletic achievements, and our choice of friends make up a part of who we are, but they do not define us. In a way, we're both the same. We're both your average teenage girls just trying to get by day by day. But then again, we are different. We are so much more than what we think we are, and I think as we grow and learn, we'll view ourselves differently. It's hard "defining" yourself in a few short paragraphs, but I think you did an excellent job doing so! Keep it up! And don't worry... I know you're terrible at comforting people. I've experienced that first hand... but it's just another characteristic that makes up who you are: my funny, rambunctious, terrible-at-comforting-people (but I'll give you props for effort) friend :)
DeleteI absolutely love reading your writings. You are such a strong writer and I am often jealous of that. I love how you presented this blog post. First I can agree on the thoughts that I am too a confused teenage girl. Even after knowing you for 15 years now, I feel both of us cant 100% define each other, but for the fact that we can't fully define ourselves. On top of that as another thought I love how you just want to make other people happy. I can relate to that because I try to put others before me, making someone else smile is such a huge accomplishment. But through all of this remember you are only 16, who really knows who they are at such a young age?
DeleteYour description of a confused teenager rings true for not only me but for many others I am sure who will read this blog. We can make plans for what we want in the future and pretend we know what we’re doing but in the end we are all confused and scared. We don’t know what the unknown holds and even if that excites us there is always a hint of hesitation in plunging in head first. I think that is due to our cautious state in that we need to be 100% sure about something before we act upon it. However, I don’t see how such a strategy can work because people are always changing and growing and as we grow we discover. I think that it is more important to focus on the journey and the discovery than it is to focus on the confusion and fear because one will hinder us; the other will lay our path out in front of us. Also, your post was extremely well written.
DeleteThis blog was amazing and well written, so thank you for the good read! You said a lot of really good things in this, and a lot of relatable things as well. I think the one that hit home the most was how you are a confused teenager- because I think when it all comes down to it, that's what everyone posting on this blog is. We are all at a point in our life where too many things are happening and it leaves us in turmoil. We are constantly placed under immense pressure from family and society; they tell us what to do while we are just trying to figure out what we want to do. And adults, they look down on teenager so much trivialize our struggles. It's hard coming of age in a world that thinks you are shallow, and clueless, and selfish. It's hard to figure out who you are when everyone is yelling at you about who you who you should be. This is such an important period in our life where we mature and change and it's natural to struggle with your identity- it really is! But sometimes it's just so incredibly frustrating to feel lost in your own life, to not know who you want to be... all you can do is hope that one day you will come to a better understanding of who you are, and be content with that person you see in the mirror.
DeletePhew, it comforts me to know you've reached the same conclusion, that there is no single sentence that can encapsulate who we are, or even hope to do so! I too felt like I started to ramble, and I had to check the blog post a million times just to make sure I knew what I was talking about. Beyond that, your post was really insightful, especially with your analysis of the benefits of detriments of the overflow of compassion you feel.
DeleteI hope I come off as someone who is accepting and open minded because I am. No matter who you are, what you are, where you’ve come from, what you have, anything, I find unique beauty in everyone. In order to practice what I preach I do my best to be as respectfully honest and pure as I can be around people. However hard it may be to keep from becoming an introvert and running away to go live with the wolves, I hold in nothing. That’s a big change for me. Like astronomical. It’s natural for me to be passive and take all my feelings and hideaway but since last year I have changed. I tell people when I am upset and I’m not afraid to cry in front of people anymore. If you hurt my feelings, I’ll tell you politely. If I’m happy, I’m sure as heck not afraid to spread it like jam over everyone. I wear my heart on my sleeve with pride, now. To answer the question, yes what you see is the whole, true, lovely Danielle. If I had to define myself, Webster style I think it would say “Danielle- and exuberant, sensitive young lady; a refreshing free spirit; sometimes misanthropic. First used on July 22nd 1997”. What I believe defines you is your emotions that are affiliated with certain experiences. Your emotional history makes up your perception of things. It’s like how they say you’ll look for men that have similar personalities and qualities as your dad. You have a loving emotional connection with your father figure, so it makes sense to love something that resembles it, which makes up your “type” of guys. Or your pet peeves. Feelings define you and feelings aren’t as general as we say. I say this because our feelings have a lot of impact on our decisions and reactions in life. So be yourself and feel on, my friends.
ReplyDeleteDanielle, after listening to your OP and again with this blog post, I must say you have inspired me to fully find myself and reach for the things that make me happy. I try to be a positive person, but sometimes the negative gets to me. I want to be able to say who I am and be proud of it! I love how happy you seem lately since, as you keep putting it you've "changed". Its great, and motivating!
DeleteI really admire the fact that you find a sense of beauty in everyone. Too many people are unwilling to socialize with others that are different than they are. That is saddening to me because then they miss out on the uniqueness that life gives. I commend you for seeing the good in everyone in spite of their predicament or variations from your perspectives.
DeleteYou go girl!!! I have never met someone so open and unafraid in my entire life. Your ability to just be who you are is truly remarkable and is something I try to do myself but with far less success. I love that you are open to emotional expression. Sometimes, it seems like people are just so cold, I never thought that maybe that was so because they just didn't show their feelings. People always assume that those with straight faces have nothing going on inside but I guess they do. It makes me wonder what people think of me since I rarely show my true feelings. I thank you for your great insight as always.
DeleteDanielle, I have to say i do not know you very well but you seem like a great person. You are very understanding, and you wear your heart on your sleeve and i think that makes for a very open, caring person which i admire.
DeleteDaniele I truly admire that you have no qualms about you truly want to be and wearing you're heart on your sleeve. Because it is a habit of mine to clothes off all my emotions to afraid to let people see how I truly feel. The fact that you're not afraid to show your emotions is truly amazing and great and I admire you for finding the best in everyone.
DeleteI applaud you for accepting and finding beauty in everyone. I’m glad that you do because people these days get singled out due to being different from the norm. I truly admire the fact that you’re not afraid to show who you really are. You’re not afraid of what anyone says due to your actions. You’re not afraid to show how you truly feel. I don’t have enough words to say how awesome you are so I’ll just end it with: You’re awesome!
DeleteI find it very admirable in the fact that you wear your heart on your sleeve with pride. Being so open and free is something many of us should try to achieve in some way. Also to be able to see beauty in everyone is a very nice quality to have. Having an open mind and heart is what helps make more good people in this world.
DeleteDon't worry Dani, you do come off as open. That's just who you are. The Webster's definition of yourself was both hilarious and effective; it was a really creative way of answering the question. I wish I could answer that question with the confidence and succinctness that you did. Guess I'll have to try that meditation stuff you were talking about.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap. This has to easily be THE hardest blog that has been put up here by a long shot. I mean, listing your values is one thing, and it is even easier still to rattle off concrete facts that you have already pounded into your head sch as your religion, birthplace, and the company you tend to keep. But after really looking at this blog, i instinctively took a walk to my mirror and had a long look at myself, and thought "Wait, who the Hell am I?!?", and to be quite honest, I didn't really know, or think about it, until now.
ReplyDeleteOn the surface, I'm a clown, I love telling jokes, and I find that any situation can be improved with some added humor. But I am so much more behind the surface. I love being a good guy, even though sometimes I can get caught up in the whole joking around thing, to the point where it seems like I don't have the capacity to be serious at times. But I long for opportunities where someone trusts me with a serious, actual problem in their life. Some of the best moments I've had are just sitting somewhere for hours on end, not really doing anything, just talking to someone, trying to help them through difficulties. But maybe, just maybe, I could also make someone laugh, and forget their problems for about thirty seconds as well, and I would literally do anything in any way to make sure that someone is feeling better than they were when they began to strike me up in a conversation.
But I think this is a little more than that, I think that how you express yourself is also a part of who you are, a very big part. While some people can classify themselves as good with people, or more suited to living with cats until they get so many that they wind up suffocating in a giant ball of adorable, I cannot. Sure, I can literally stand on a stage for hours and not even break a sweat, but for some odd reason, the second I have to converse with a group of people I don't know, suddenly, any semblance of charisma I had seems to vanish without a trace. But then the second I see another familiar face, I can go right back to joking around with them, even possibly being the life of the party that I was a wallflower for literally five seconds before that. It is truly an odd occurrence.
Now, while this still made me look at myself even deeper than I'd care to do on any other occasion, there still begs the part where I have to whittle all of this down into a definition. Just a few sentences. That happen to encompass all that I am. No pressure. Well, here it goes, I guess. "Thomas Smith- An introverted extrovert, sad clown, sometimes a lover, fighter or both, sometimes neither. All in all, the very example of a human contradiction. But one such that makes a person that would readily give you a piece of his heart, so long as you do the same."
Tom, I am one of those people who immediately associate you with your witty jokes. I greatly appreciate the attitude that humor can be found in every situation. We APers definitely do not laugh as much as we need to. And the role you play in being a jokester is needed and appreciated muchly. Though I never did take a moment to realize how that personality could hurt your credibility. It is also interesting how your sense of confidence fluctuates from high on stage to low in a regular conversation. Though some regard entertainers as talented yet noncontributing, I disagree. I believe they are an integral part to our collective mental health. I am not defining you strictly as a joker, but you should really take pride in this. More people than you realize look forward to your trademark puns, myself included. My intention is to gloss over the ambiguous self definition you have imposed upon yourself with confidence. And there is pride to be had in a functional contradictory nature.
DeleteTom, I have always known you to be a friend to those who truly need one. You always have a smile or a joke to soften someone’s heart. That is nothing to be ashamed of because in being such a kind hearted and hilarious person your composition is truly brightening to the others around you. Your persona reflects in the lives of others and you build people up as a priority. I agree with David that you should take pride in who you are. Embrace yourself wholeheartedly and you can’t go wrong.
DeleteTom, I think you described yourself pretty well. From reading your other responses, you always seem to tie in humor and aren’t ashamed of it. I think you’re the funniest person in this group and that your jokes and your humor never let you down. I like how you called yourself a paradox because I think everyone encompasses contradictions into themselves, not realizing it, like I do all the time. I think people immediately judge the surface and never get to see the way the person is inside. Someone maybe the utmost happiest person alive and have sorrow and depression eating their soul alive, your humor, on the other hand, fits you well.
DeleteI admire your clownish attitude because your always there to spread a laugh when people really need it. I also love how you described yourself as a human contradictions which I think everyone is filled with a contradiction or two because no one is cut and dry, Which is probably why it's so hard for people to describe themselves because we are made up of so many different traits and endure so many different situations where are behaviors contradict it's hard to pinpoint the things we do that are purely and uniquely us despite the environment.
DeleteI’ve written this blog post over and over again, and I’ve still yet to come up with a sustainable answer. I’m dissatisfied with my answer, to say the least. I couldn’t put into words what my mind was thinking because I, myself, don’t even think I know the answer. I’ve written at least 4 different responses pertaining to this blog post and they're all awful and stupid. But this was the least awful and stupid of them all... so here you go:
ReplyDeleteAs we mature with age, we learn things about ourselves. We learn about things we like or don’t like, we learn about things we care for and do not care for, and most importantly we learn to accept who we are based on our personal opinions of ourselves rather than someone elses. I can’t exactly define myself in a few paragraphs, because even 1000 pages wouldn’t be enough words to explain to you who I think I am. I’m unsure of who I am, and I think that’s okay. At this point in my life, I don’t think I’ve unraveled all that I am. I’m still slowly emerging from my cocoon and have yet to reveal who I am to myself, let alone all of you. I’m confused, to say the least. We ourselves should know who we are, but I don’t think we truly KNOW. I think we all have an idea of who we are and what we are becoming but we, or at least I, have yet to discover the entirety that is me, Paula Cuerquis. Everyone is different and although others may think that you or I are something else, we are the only people with true justification in defining ourselves.
I am Paula Cuerquis and I am a 16 year old girl with too-many-to-count ambitions. I’m your average heart-wearer-on-the-sleeve type of girl and I, more often than not, am an ice cream addict who overreacts during sad/ romantic motion pictures. I’m a girl who can’t contain her tear ducts when Rose let’s go of Jack's hand and I’m a girl, one of many actually, who drools at even the sound of Mr. Sykes name (you know who you are). I’m a girl who thinks she’s tough and can handle anything hurled her way, but in reality I’m just a girl whose feelings do get hurt sometimes. I’m scared of spiders, I’m scared of snakes, and I’m scared of the future and anything that has to do with a life away from the comfort zone of my parents and high school . I’m sarcastic, too sarcastic in fact that I hurt people’s feelings unintentionally, and I make mistakes, from which I’m trying to learn from everyday. These are a few of the things that make up who I am. But when you take these things, my personal attributes, away from me, or from everyone in fact, we’re all just the same. Instead of being Paula Cuerquis or Ms. Bunje, etc., we’d all just be homo sapiens without any differences besides physical appearances. I am unique. I may be your typical teenage girl, but I am unique. Being unique means being the only one of it’s kind. We are all our own person and no one can be us. It is our personal characteristics that differentiate us from everyone else. We all have different definitions for one another but the only person who can truly define you, is you. No one else can tell me who I am or what I’m not. If I had to define myself in one word, that word would have to be: me. I am me. Me is Paula Cuerquis, and no one else can be Paula Cuerquis.
First of all, I do not think that your response was in any way awful. I enjoyed reading your post very much, and I completely agree with you in that the only person that can truly know who you are, is you. Your definition of yourself was honest and well described. I loved the way that you made yourself sound relatable, and yet also described yourself as a unique individual. Because as you said, we are all individuals, and we are all different from one another. We may share certain traits and qualities, but at the end of the day defining ourselves is discovering the differences between us and finding out what makes us who we are. Defining yourself simply as "Me" was a very interesting outlook that I did not even think of, but it is the most accurate definition I suppose of who each of us are.
DeleteI admire your modesty but truth be told, you have written great posts to this blog and this post is no exception. I entirely agree with you that at this age it is okay to not be able to completely define who we are. We are still learning and developing after all. In fact, I think it is okay for us to never feel like we completely know who we are. All of life is a journey not just the beginning of it. We will probably continue to learn about ourselves up until the day we die. I also completely agree with you that no one can be you. Others can take ideas or be inspired by someone, but to become all you can be, you have to ultimately be yourself.
DeleteIf this is a bad post for you, I'd love to read one that you actually approve of. I never thought of it the way you bring it up, we are all the same. You're completely right when you say that no one can be us. Everyone is different in some way, shape or form. By saying that your definition is me, you put it in its simplest form. You basically made sig figs for words, very impressive. I never thought of it that way.
DeleteBefore I say anything else, I just wanted to say that I’ve always loved your writing and this post was not any different from any of the ones you’ve written before. I agree with your statement that the only person that could define ourselves is us. I also agree that at this age, we are still defining who we really are. As we grow older, we do get wiser, so we might change depending on what happens. I like how you described yourself and that you said no one can be like anyone else. There are times when the same person might inspire us, but we will all act on it a different way and always be different from each other.
DeleteI think listing out the smallest traits that make you unique was a good way to gather your thoughts. I also admire the way you were able to describe both yourself and others as individually different and that's just what's neat about each and everyone of us. I could relate to you in many ways but I could never actually possess those traits in the same way that you do. Defining who we are is too complex for us to even describe with words on a paper. It's just safe accept the idea that we are all different from one another despite our similarities.
DeleteAs you started out this post you were unsure but as you continued writing you did define yourself and became confident of it which is a huge step *clap* *clap*. you are best described as you because there is honestly no one even similar to your sassy self. I love this post.
DeleteOn a starting point, you're blogs are consistently really good. Every time I have read one of your blogs, I have enjoyed it, so don't worry about whether or not it is bad, because trust me, it isn't, even the ones you haven't written yet are fine, trust me.
DeleteBut I really think, that to be quite honest, we're all not entirely sure of who we our. I mean, hey, we can take a swing at it because our grades are currently kind of depending on it (and hey, we're AP kids, most of us will delve into whatever recess of our mind you want for an 100, including me) but none of us won't really know who we are for a long while, maybe even never at all, and that's okay. Figuring out who you are is an integral facet of life itself, if it were easy, it wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling as it is, even making small strides to your own self discovery.
Reading this blog post, I was inspired to say the least. After reading this prompt, I thought "oh god...I suck at writing my deepest thoughts down into coherent sentences. How am I supposed to tap into my soul to present an idea of how I perceive myself?" I thought of all different kinds of explanations of eloquence, but after reading your posts, I was struck by the genuine authenticity and honesty. You said what you needed to play in plain text and stayed true to how you carry yourself daily. So thanks Paula, you really helped me out in writing my own blog post, because my feelings with yours are completely mutual.
DeleteThroughout the course of our lives, there are various components that we associate ourselves with and different definitions in which we attempt to mold ourselves into. However, the error in this procedure is the actual molding. Human beings aren’t meant for fitting into a depicted picture deemed worthy by someone else’s opinions. Rather, we are intended to embrace our humanity and unique qualities and use those components to define us. In this sense, others can never truly know us because each individual is unique. Though we may be similar, our tastes, interests, etc, vary from person to person. Other individuals may be able to reiterate facts about us. They may be able to state what our likes and dislikes are until they are blue in the face. However, they will never know the depths of where these things emanate. The basis of what we truly think and feel is something that no other individual will be able to express. In saying this, these fundamentals so deeply embedded within us are how we come to know ourselves. There is a time and a season for everything and in these seasons people change. The interests we hold whether it’d be a particular sport, style of clothing or favorite food cannot define us because they are variables that can change week to week let alone in a life time. However, the roots of these interests are what define us and reveal who we are. I have found myself through the faith and relationship that I have with Christ because it is the constant in my life in which I base all of my decisions and it is what my life resides in. If all were to be stripped away from me, titles, accomplishments and labels, and all that was left were a definition it would read as a unique creation fearfully and wonderfully made. That is what I am first and foremost despite whatever else I am associated with in my life. Though traits, hobbies and virtues reflect our definition and can on occasion represent it they are not what will define us when all else passes away. The components that construct the basis of ourselves will be what are most crucial because they are the foundation on which everything else is placed.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy reading your responses, the way that you express your thoughts reminds me somewhat of my own thought process. I loved that you pointed out that humans are not meant to fit into a mold, and that rather we should embrace our uniqueness in discovering who we truly are. I also appreciate how you defined yourself, I did not think to incorporate faith into who I am (I realize now what a shame that is) but it was very well said and I comply 100%.
DeleteI agree that each and every one of us is different. Even when we are around the people that we identify with the most, at they very least we still have some things that we don't agree with them on. No person is the same as any other person, and that is amazing, because even though we are different, being around the people you are around, you can sometimes adopt some of their traits, and they adopt some of yours. Being different is really what brings us all together.
DeleteI also agree wholeheartedly that faith, or lack thereof, for the case of some, is an important part of who we are as people. It can give us a foundation on how we want to act, and what to do in situations where you wouldn't know otherwise. Belief in a God or belief solely in yourself can also show who you are when all of that other stuff is gone, because, when you have nothing, you still have your values.
Now, i don't know how many times I have said this, but I really like your blogs. You have a very intelligent and heartfelt way of expressing what you believe in and who you are, and it is just very good to read!
Francesca, I also enjoy reading your blog posts because in many ways you are similar to me and that is why i think I like them so much, because I understand you and your opinions or beliefs. I completely agree with you when you say that there is always some type of variation among people, and that no one will ever truly know you.
DeleteFrancesca, I think you’re right when you talked about how everyone’s definition is basically figuring out what our definition really is. I liked your analogy to the sculpting and your opinion that humans shouldn’t fall in any category because I couldn’t agree anymore. Everyone’s definition is unique to everyone’s style too. I like how faithful you are to Jesus because you stated that you base every decision you make off of Jesus. Even though the walk of a Christian isn’t easy, I think that your faithfulness will eventually get you far in what you believe in and doing because not everyone has the same characteristics as you.
DeleteCan I just start off by saying that you are such a great writer, I hope to become a writer much like you. I agree with you that everyone is different, and no one can really know who you are except yourself. I also like how you said that our interests can’t define us because these are only temporary things. I said in my response that I could describe myself as a girl that likes to dance but is dancing is what I do not who I am. So you’re right our interests cannot define exactly who we are, maybe in a few years I won’t even be dancing anymore. Basically everything you said is completely right, and I definitely agree with your stance on this topic.
DeleteWow this is pretty deep. If I were to define myself I’d say I’m the quiet girl that does well in school and is always dancing. It’s hard not to describe myself with the things I do because all I do every day is go to school, go to dance, and come home and do my homework. That is my entire life in a nutshell. I don’t interact with many people in school; I mostly keep to myself so that’s why I described myself as quiet. Then after school when I go to dance I interact with a few of my friends but I mostly try to stay focused on training. By the time I get home everyone is usually sleeping so I don’t really talk to anyone at home. I don’t really have a best friend to share my life with, so the only person I talk to all day is my boyfriend. Therefore I guess you could say that he knows the most about me, but now that I think about it I guess no one really knows exactly who I am. I don’t even know exactly who I am. I think I’m this quiet, nice girl but maybe others don’t exactly see me this way. Sometimes I can be loud; my laugh for example is the most annoying, obnoxious thing in the world. I don’t laugh much though so no one would even know this, but the person that I am on the outside is a completely different person than who I am on the inside. So I guess the reason no one really knows who I am is because I keep everything inside. I don’t even know who I am because I can never just let it out! I try so hard to be a person that everyone doesn’t hate. I try so hard to please my teachers, my fellow classmates, my dance instructors, fellow dancers, and my family, which isn’t even who I am. I know I love to dance, but I really don’t know much about my own self. I don’t know what subject in school is my favorite, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, and I don’t know how to describe myself. The only way I can think of describing myself is, the girl that does well in school and likes to dance. Without these traits I can’t think of another way to describe myself. I spend so much time pleasing everyone around me that I have no time to be myself. I guess the real person I am is deep down inside me and I have to learn to pull that person out. I can’t believe I finally figured this out after about an hour of being completely alone, sitting here in front of my computer thinking. I’ve figured out that I don’t know who I am because I never let that person come out. I’m sorry if you just read this and learned way more about me then you actually wanted to know. But that’s it, who I am hidden by this image of what everyone else wants me to be.
ReplyDeleteI think we all share in your problem with varying degrees. I feel like we all hold something back, even if it is only in front of one group of people like teachers. I know I certainly hold a lot back from teachers for instance. You probably have already come to this conclusion but it's time you started to not care about what others think of you. You are a great person and you know that, so being who you really are on the inside will only show that to other people. That's the side of you we are all interested in after all is said and done so just let it out.
DeleteI think most AP students can very much relate to having a crisis of identity due to the fact that there isn’t much more that we do on a regular basis than school. I feel like this is a very valid statement because if we spend most of our time doing things we don’t particularly want to do, how are we supposed to know ourselves? We know ourselves in that capacity, but identity is best achieved when given the freedom to try multiple things. Kassidy, this is something I back very strongly so thank you for bringing it up. Your blog was very well thought out.
DeleteI think everyone can relate to you in that, we all don't really know who we are. I think that we are still at a point in our lives where we are learning about ourselves. Like you, I used to be this very quiet girl, who only spoke when spoken to. I cared too much about what people thought of me, and I think that was my biggest problem. I let what I wanted others to think of me define me, rather than let the real me come out of its shell. The real me, an obnoxious, loud, sarcastic person, only revealed herself to her four closest friends. But as I grew up, I just stopped trying to please everyone. Sure it's always good to keep yourself in check and to make sure you're not coming off as an rude egotistic maniac, but aside from that, you should always be you. Everyone's on this journey to find themselves and while some of us are already half way there, others are still a few steps behind. But that's okay, because in the end, we will all end up at the same destination.
DeleteI think everyone could agree that we all don’t really know exactly who we are. Just like you, my actions are usually to please those all around me and is usually not who I want to be. I care too much about what everyone else thinks and I aim to please him or her instead of doing something that makes myself content, which leads to me holding back who I really am. Until now, I think that few people do know who I really am so I guess it’s time for us to show who we really are. You are a great person; don’t be afraid to let the real you come out.
DeleteI can relate to your statement about trying to please everyone. I always try my best to no be the person that everyone hates but sometimes I'm not sure if the way I act truly expresses who I really am. It's upsetting that it has gotten to the point where we are all afraid of genuinely expressing ourselves in fear that others will judge us harshly. Just like you, I consider myself generally quiet but talkative when I'm around people I'm comfortable with. Instead we shouldn't have to worry about keeping certain things to ourselves all the time. At some point in our life we should have that moment where we discover who we truly are. I think the best way of doing that is through physical expression and with that being said, don't be afraid to show your true self because you are an awesome person.
DeleteI understand you when you mention how you don’t want to be that person everyone hates. I’m sure no one wants to ever be hated or disliked for anything. But by being yourself will determine whether your good person or not. Though knowing you already, I know you are a great person and you shouldn’t keep yourself locked up. And you should laugh more often because I’m a huge fan of laughter because it usually is a sign of happiness and enjoyment.
DeleteScience has for a long time, tried to make the connection between brain and mind. What exactly is it in the brain that gives humans consciousness, an awareness of our surroundings, others and most importantly, ourselves? While the precise link remains unidentified, one thing is known. Just as every human has a slightly different body from the next, every human as a whole is slightly different. Once again, pin pointing what makes this connection valid is difficult. When stripped away of everything by which we usually describe ourselves, it seems like we are made of very little. Without hobbies, traits, values and vices, how can we differentiate ourselves? From my standpoint, without those things, what defines us is the experiences we’ve had, the environment in which we chose to reside, and the perspective from which we view our experiences and our environment. Our experiences are what defines our fears and our interests. I have experienced some rather horrific encounters with spiders for example, thus the arachnophobia trait in me is cemented. Another example is that I have experienced a lot of unrest in my family leaving the effect of me not attaching great value to family in general. On the other hand, ever since I was young, I have had awe-inspiring adventures immersed in nature leading to my love of it. The environment as a tool of sculpting who we are is rather self-explanatory. We pick things up from our home, friends, school, activities and all manner of other interactions. The most important factor in defining who we are however, is how we view what has happened to us and what we have been exposed to. The impact something leaves on us can be hugely changed by perspective. For example, if I took my exposure to nature in a more indifferent attitude, I would be a very different person.
ReplyDeleteDefined in characteristics, I am a curious girl. I want to venture beyond the next hill just to see what’s there. I never want to miss out on what could be something great. I never want to feel regret. I am a lover of art in all forms, freedom of expression, and harmony. I want to always just be mellow and make others feel the same. Yes, this definition crosses over into defining myself using hobbies, values and traits. But in order to fully define a person, these things have to be taken into account. Without them, a hazy line of similitude is traced over us all. The lives we lead exemplifies who we are, so to take aspects of our lives away, takes away from a complete definition of ourselves. This leads to another point. Because no one knows every nuance of our lives, no one else has a right to define who you are. Yes, people who have a clear picture of who you are, like your close friends, have a right to guide to you to your ultimate potential. With that said, it is crucial to realize that sometimes, when when you strip away the parts of you that were placed there by others, the clearest definition of you manifests itself. Every human is unique, therefore, it is up to each human to define themselves.
I loved your ending, Couldn't have been said any better. Also I find our personalities to be similar which is probably why I enjoy your company. This blog post is perfect, I love it (probably because it's how i feel, but better explained). Good job being you, Tommi <3
DeleteReading your response was like reading very many of my own thoughts, but described in a way that I failed to accomplish in my own blog post. I absolutely loved that you pointed out that a huge aspect of who we are is affected by the experiences we have had. It never occurred to me how important our experiences are to the make up of our personality until I read your post. Experiences, whether good or bad, have such a huge impact on the way that we develop and grow as people. I also agree that defining ourselves with the use of some of our traits and hobbies is somewhat necessary because they inevitably account for a large part of who we are. Overall I really enjoyed reading your blog, and it has made me look at things in a different way.
DeleteOn a personal level, I believe it is impossible for one person to completely know who I am, but I do not hold myself to this lone standard because I believe on a general level that it is also impossible to know another person down to the very last detail. Sure there are you members, best friends, and significant others who know us quite well. They may know someone down to the ninety-ninth percentile, but it’s impossible to know you completely. Many people, myself included, claim that they do not even know themselves completely. I think this can be demonstrated by a fairly common scenario. Have you ever had someone make a very profound comment about you? Has that comment ever made you stop to think and reevaluate yourself? It is a terrifying notion; others know more about you than you do. Well this is not true in most scenarios. I think of any hypothetical person as many puzzle pieces that have been spread throughout the world. These pieces are largely held by that person, but sometimes others pick up the pieces he/she drops. This doesn’t mean that these bystanders hold a majority of the pieces of this theoretical puzzle, but this does mean that said hypothetical person isn’t fully aware of all of their pieces. In order to come close to piecing together your whole personal puzzle, you must consult with others who have some missing pieces. However, if you do this extensively then you are still probably not going to achieve a full puzzle.
ReplyDeleteI am Dave Wigglesworth. I am always uncertain but come off as assertive. I am caught between making a future for myself but at the risk of losing my complete ability to function. I try to be objective yet I am very personally biased. I think my opinions don’t matter yet I am very vocal. I curse too much but I am not particularly a bad person. I try my damndest and yet I don’t. I think that I’m okay with this but whether or not I really am is a mystery. I love too seldom and get angry too easily. I feel like I have much to contribute but I doubt my abilities. I am… a contradiction. A contradiction. It kills me inside. But through it all, I shove it down. In fact, I own it. I like this sense of trying to figuring myself out; I like assembling my own puzzle. Yet it comes at a price. I struggle to calm myself down, I struggle to go to bed, and I struggle to get up in the morning. Ambiguity, ambiguity, ambiguity. You know how I feel towards ambiguity? Ambiguously. I like black and white facts, but I also enjoy the pursuit of said facts. And to me, the pursuit is much more noble than just claiming to know things. It’s still a pain in the neck though so I will continue to resent it in part. So if I were to put my name in a dictionary it would appear simply as “Dave Wigglesworth: (noun) ambiguous.” That doesn’t even make any sense. But did I do that on purpose? I don’t know. Maybe you should write a fifteen page paper on it.
If I were to strip myself cleanly of my traits, hobbies, and virtues, I don’t think I would be able to define myself in the same light. The word trait itself implies that. Nonetheless, I would still have a certain degree of my identity intact. I would still be overwhelmingly unsure and short tempered but I don’t particularly define myself by those qualities. I would still be me, but I wouldn’t be proud of who I am. Despite all of the unpleasant disconnections I’ve listed, I still feel proud that I exist in that capacity. Celebrating my own existence definitely sounds self righteous, but I am pretty content with the dysfunctional person I am. I’m dissatisfied with some aspects, but an immense change in my character would be a depressing one. I would rather have myself remain defective and content than functional and discontent.
I really like how you described yourself as a series of contradictions because I think that's really accurate for most people, especially with teenagers who are still figuring out who they want to be. I know I contradict myself about a million times per day- I've probably contradicted myself in every single one of these blog posts so far. And it is extremely frustrating, as you said. I feel like even if I am on my way to becoming the ideal version of myself. I'll say or do something stupid that will go against everything I've been doing up until that point and then it's back to the starting block, try again and better luck next time. I just wish I could be consistent and just decide on who I want to be and what I want to do with myself but it's impossible. I'm can't even be consistent with who I am and that's really frustrating, you know? People are so complicated and it's impossible to just narrow them down to a simple description because there are so many contradictions and intricacies in every single person, no matter how simple they might seem at first glance.
DeleteI really like how you talked about others holding different pieces of the puzzle that is you or I. I never thought of it that way. Although we are our own person, we somehow find ourselves from other people. We surround ourselves constantly with friends and family and I think they play a major factor in the person we are becoming. You're right, it's scary. When someone tells me something about me, sometimes I stop and think, "do I really do that?" and when they say yes, I kind of just agree with it and move on. Shouldn't I know if I do something? Shouldn't I be the one telling myself things about myself rather than someone else? Our mind works in strange ways, and it's terrifying having to think that you don't know yourself as much as someone who has no ability to think what you think or feel what you feel, does. As for other matters, I've always admired your ability to vocalize your opinion even when you're not so sure of them. Your confidence is mind blowing. You may not believe me, but it's one of my favorite attributes about you. You have this attitude I sometimes wish I had. Besides that, good job on another well done post!
DeleteDave, I enjoy your posts more and more as I read them. As the person I've gotten to know as of late, I enjoy your disfunctionality. It makes you who you are. I also like how you pointed yourself out as a contradiction, something I believe many people can relate to. Good post Dave
DeleteI really like the amount of intellect you put into these blogs without coming off as pompous. You are easily able to put big, great thoughts into your blog while still allowing them to be digested. The puzzle piece analogy you used was pure genius. I never really thought about it that way, but now, I think I'm kinda leaning toward that mindset. Awesome post!
DeleteI think that living contradiction concept you have is something that we all must live with, and it is just extremely prevalent and obvious in your life. Eventually, as you approach that state of enlightenment, your contradictions will resolve them. (I hope) Otherwise, you can always be that guy in the Starburst commercials!
DeleteBut as you said, maybe it's for the best. Better be conflicted and happy then non-conflicted and unhappy!
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeletePaige, though I hate contradictory nature, I realize it is part of what makes us human. I’m glad you can empathize and have the integrity to admit you are not perfect. Unfortunately, there is a shortage of people who are like that anymore. But I guess many of those aforementioned contradictions disappear when you take God out of your life... so you should be good.
DeletePaula, I honestly thought that the comparison I used was kind of corny, but I am glad you enjoyed it and found application to it. Sometimes I fear what I’m writing is totally unrelatable so thank you for the vindication. As for what you said about my confidence, I thank you. I try to be confident yet not pompous. I like to try to tread the line of a likable jerk. I mainly exert confidence because I like the perspective I gain when interacting with people, but I like my voice to be heard. I realize that to be taken seriously, I have to conduct myself in a somewhat confident manner. After working on political campaigns for about two years I’ve learned that it’s not what is right or even what you believe, it’s how well you can sell an idea. But I try to be civilized because I like perspective. So maybe that might set the record straight on a few things. But thanks! It means a lot coming from someone as gifted as you.
Dan, thanks man! I enjoy your functional dysfunctionality as well. Together, we can mock every subject shamelessly and laugh all of our troubles away. It’s a beautiful thing.
Thomas, thanks Tom! Again, I feel like the comparison is cheesy but I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the kind words and moral vindication.
Neil, I would argue that the figurative puzzle can never be fully achieved. I realize this is contradictory to the beliefs of some of our peers. But I just cannot feasibly picture it. There is honor in just saying “I don’t know.” And not knowing is what makes us humans.
Thank you all for your replies!
An edit to my original post:
DeleteThere are your family members* towards the very beggining.
Sorry guys
Hi Wig. Usually when you write posts I read them all late, and I don’t bother to reply because I just enjoy the creeping from afar. But this is really well written- I can’t resist. Plus, I am getting a little jealous of all the replies. But anyway. Yes, the puzzle comparison was corny. You’re a corny person sometimes. The whole ‘journey-not-the-destination’ thing is pretty dorky too. Ambiguity and contradictions make up a major part of what we are as teens in the “Who am I?” phase. I was actually going to write something similar, but I doubt I could do it as well as you anyway so I’ll probably refrain. This is actually the first time I’m writing a comment before my post. You should feel special. Well done.
DeleteYou're a dork! But I am honored. Thank you. Write about whatever it is anyway! You always have interesting perspectives, and this wasn't written that well honestly but thanks :) Anyway... I can't articulate myself properly right now. I'm under the watchful eye of the Omnipotent Bunje so I shall censor myself. Go write your blog! :P
DeleteI've been thinking about myself a lot lately. I'm not really satisfied with who I am, and I doubt I will ever be, but I've started to realize that on top of all that I don't really know who I am. And nobody else does either, because I keep so much of myself locked away, I present myself differently to every single person. In a way, who I really am is lost to the vastness of the universe. Because if I'm not sure about myself, and nobody else really knows what I'm thinking or feeling most times, then who out there can classify me? I can say for sure there are two different versions of me that exist: the person I am in school and with my family and the person I am online with a completely different set of friends. And I certainly know which version I prefer, although I found it difficult to act that way with offline people. When I'm talking with my online friends I am a much more open person with my feelings, and I find it easier to handle other's emotions as well. Something about the level of control gained from communicating in a text format just makes everything so much easier. I have time to think about what I'm going to say and in the process of typing something up, I often catch my mistakes. Whereas interacting with people face to face is incredibly stressful and frightening for me, and I often say things and act in ways I end up regretting. But I don't know if I even want to be open with people I know offline- because in a way, I never really got to choose them. I can't control who my family is, and even my high school friends are all from a very small group of people that offer limited options. Whereas the friends I make online... I choose them completely of my own free will, and it's different when you talk to people whose company you always legitimately enjoy. But even with these different versions of me I've put out there, I've always still classified myself with labels. I mean, it is natural to want to be able to put a name to things. When you describe yourself as something, it lets other people know who you are and what to expect from you in just a word or two. I could say I don't like talking to people, that it makes me nervous, that I would rather be alone. But it is so much easier to simply say I am 'shy' and less revealing, in a way. I think it would be impossible to classify people without describing their personality traits or their beliefs- it's easier to strip away their hobbies and material possessions because in the end those are just things that reflect your personality and interests.
ReplyDelete(part 1)
(part 2)
ReplyDeleteBut can you really go any deeper once you get to how a person thinks and acts? Because those things influence every aspect of a person's life and from there it is just ever expanding. I guess I can't really look at myself any deeper than my personality, my thoughts, my actions, my beliefs. So if I were to give a 'definition' of myself, it would probably go something like this: a girl who thinks too much and voices her opinion when she shouldn't, who probably annoys the people around her (without realizing it most of them time), who would prefer to stay in her room and avoid commitments and social interaction, and is a wholly unremarkable person with no promising future. A biased description, sure, but that is how I perceive myself. At the end of the day we are only what other people see in us and what we see in ourselves- is it even truly possible to discover your 'true self'? Because everyone will have different perceptions of who you are and if a consensus cannot be reached on a topic then how can you ever conclude which answer is right? I guess the person who knows you best is yourself... but sometimes we are so caught up in our own issues that we can't accurately assess who we are either. Maybe a more confident and self assured person would feel differently on this topic but for me it is sort of impossible to answer. I don't know who I am, I don't think I've really been sure about that since my childhood and while I'm trying to figure it out I don't know if I will ever have any success.
Through our interactions with others, we tend to learn a lot about each other. We learn a lot about ourselves as well. However, to claim that we are completely aware of our own identities is too audacious a statement for even the most self-aware adults to make, let alone teenagers. I hate to mention Maslow's hierarchy of needs again, but after all, self-actualization, that elusive enlightened state in which we are aware of our own identity, is reached only at the pinnacle of the pyramid, after presumably years and years of life experience.
ReplyDeleteSo who am I? Or rather, who do I think I am? Obviously, there is no short or succinct way to define my individuality. I cannot just copy and paste my genetic code in here. My answer will have to include a great deal of generalization. So what is my epithet? The first thing that comes to mind is "hey, I'm Neil". So what exactly does Neil mean? As I have shared before, my namesake is none other than the renowned Neil Armstrong. It is through him that my name gains meaning. In the words of my father, I was named Neil because Neil means pioneer. Trailblazer. It means I do not let the limits and taboos of today bar my vision of tomorrow. Liberality, freedom, the ability to see the world for what it is and what it can be. I want to leave things better than the way I got them. "Want" is too misleading a word though -- I do not have a desire to make things better; I have responsibility to (as we all should). That does not mean I always can, but I have an obligation to try. Of course, my idiosyncrasies play a part in my definition too. My curiosity and surging, juggernaut boredom must play a part in this epithet. My intense appreciation of satire and irony and my need to draw connections and parallels only speak to my love of perceiving the world at more levels and perspectives than it appears on the surface. My propensity to love and my distaste for judgment must also be taken into account. My cautious optimism, thinly veiled by ironic cynicism, cannot be forgotten, nor my appreciation for the subtleties of life. My love of mercy and compassion must be integral in my design. How about my intense love of logic and data, spawned from what can only be my left-side dominated brain? I could go on and on and on, for I, like all humans, am a complexity not easily expressed by words, or art, or brain chemistry, or even genetic code. I share with mankind the same desires and quirks. The desire to love and be loved, to feel passion, to enjoy life, to enhance the lives of those around me, to give back to my community and the Earth that sustains me. If there is a word or phrase or sentence or a definition that can encapsulate all I have just said and the millions of things left unsaid, that I am either unaware of or uncertain of, then please tell me it, so I can attain that final step on the spiritual journey that is life.
In the end, we are, as affirmed by my Psychology textbook, a product of our genetically influenced nature and our culturally influenced environment. So, our individuality can be expressed as our idiosyncrasies, granted to us by our brain-chemistry and our upbringing. Strip me of my traits, my values, my preferences, and what am I? I am just an ambiguous human, defined only by the human condition and a handful of meaningless titles and associations. My personality is the unique attitudes, behaviors, and emotions that characterize me. Without those, I am indistinguishable from any other human, significant only because of my bare humanity. Once you strip that away, what I have just discussed, “who I am” is meaningless.
Now that you mention it, self-actualization is a thing many people in many faiths chase after zealously. To completely know oneself is essentially a state of enlightenment- and of course, it is a task that is extremely difficult to achieve. Even most adults are still floundering about trying to figure out who they are- isn't that what a mid-life crisis is all about? You realize that maybe you're not the person you thought you would be. I think as we mature we do get to know ourselves better, but in some ways we get more detached from ourselves- distance from your emotions and such is encouraged. Everyone is seeking to understand themselves better, whether they realize this or not because when you truly understand yourself then you are more assured and confident in who you are as a person. And isn't that what everyone desires? Maybe complete enlightenment is a bit too lofty of a goal but understanding who you are just a little bit is not. It's good to think on who you are every once in a while.
DeleteAs I read this I thought about what you were saying by comparing it to everyone I know. You are correct when you say most people want to be loved and feel passion, yet when you take away our personalities, we're just another creature. Not saying that animals don't have personalities, because they most certainly do, what I'm saying is that we separate ourselves from each other based on emotions and feelings. We don't all look the same, but people don't stay life long friends because of looks, they stay because their personalities work well together.
DeleteThe things wrote here really supports my description of human beings last week. Our personalities are what makes us, us, and that makes us beautiful creatures. We could have very easily stayed simple minded creatures but something evolved and created the complex humans we are today. Not sure if this has anything to do with the topic but your post made me think about this again and i wanted to let you know that...so yeah, cool.
DeleteI was looking for your response cause i knew it was going to be good! I agree when you said everyone wants to be loved and also get into how people change themselves to be love which is also true. I wish we could find a balance!
DeleteI like to say that no one, in particular, knows me, but myself. During school and when I am around people I don’t know, I try to act more civilized and shy than I do when I am with people who I have known for more than a few years. When I’m with people like my brother or people who I’m comfortable with I’m completely different than when I am in Lang class. When I started to read the blog, the only thing I worried about was how I defined myself. What did people think about me when my name crossed through their minds? I’m pretty sure that the majority of people I know do not know me at all. As of right now, I’m an intern for Hammonton First which is the standing, local political group that runs the town I live in—Hammonton. I hope the group of Hammonton First thinks the best of me because I came off like the “real” me from the start. The first day I went to a Hammonton First meeting, I was completely shy because that’s the way I am when I first meet anyone. I didn’t speak to anyone and I didn’t shake hands with anyone, but the mayor broke the ice and I soon became more social to a group of people I had never met in my life. From that moment on, I came off as a hard-working kid. I came off as the kid who doesn’t like to quit what he has started. I came off as the kid who will try to do anything to get what I need and want and the kid who doesn’t like to be adulated. From the very first day I was involved with the campaign, I tried to stay true to who I am.
ReplyDeleteI am David Ramirez, the boy that is scared of obstacles that are bigger than me, but the boy who tries everything. When I omit every obstacle, person, and thing that makes me who I am, I try to define myself as the boy who is still trying to discover himself. Inside, I am a curious person who is trying to find out what is wrong and what is right and the kid who tries to imbed equality in everything possible. Inside, I am the boy that is willing to try every method and myth in books to achieve success. Inside, I am the boy who doesn’t think twice, and makes decisions aimlessly. I think tangible objects shouldn’t define someone personally. I think hobbies and virtues are vital to define someone. The interests and values everyone has can either point or counter point the true definition of someone. In my point, my life and experiences are the catalysts that influence the real definition of David Ramirez. I really don’t do any wicked hobby like rock climb around the Alps or pertain to a exaggerated pious family, so the hobbies and virtues that stimulate the majority of everyone’s definition don’t influence my definition Someone who either is an avid athlete or a passionate rock climber, maybe someone who isn’t afraid of passing the opponent in front of a game or race or a person who isn’t timorous of overcoming obstacles. Conversely, if a rock climber was stripped away from majestic and colossal mountains, will that person be a defined as someone who is afraid of risks and afraid of trying? What if the person who is a spirited Christian and is the president of his or her youth club stripped away from the position and virtues? The old and spirited Christian would probably not be the same. Hobbies and virtues are imperative to everyone’s definition; the decisions that everyone makes, makes them who they are.
David, I liked your blog post because I was able to relate to it. I was always known as the quiet kid and did not speak to many people, I was very shy and often kept to myself when i was surrounded by new people and new things. I also have to agree with you when you say that the only people i was my real self around was the one who I have known for some time and those people also know I am a hard worker and do my best at everything.
DeleteDavid, i agree with your post because i am also myself with people i am confortable around and i feel that they know me best and the "real me"
DeleteDavid I really like your blog because that how I feel all times. Like nobody really knows who I am because I don’t want people to know. I act so that I can fit in which isn’t true to who I am. I like that you are able to fit in comfortably, however whenever I am around people who I am comfortable with and take off my mask people hate who I really am. Even my family don’t really hate me it just that my personality changes when I take off that mask and nobody like my true self. I just feel that there is nobody in the world who understands me. Overall great job on the blog and thanks for sharing a piece of information from your life.
DeleteA question that I and many others have a difficult time answering is who am I? I’m definitely conflicted when it comes to defining me. But being human I know that everyone has their own unique qualities that consist of infinite collections of things that make you, you. We are made of the same compounds, but differ immensely in mind and soul. And so I don’t believe there really is a way to picking someone apart and determining who they are. Although in attempt to answer your question here is a potential definition of me. Sotiria Del Valle is an imaginative school girl who is caring and strong. She enjoys laughter, has an obsession with traveling and adventure and she’d most likely die after going too long without a home cooked meal. Her best friends are happy and carefree and she is able to find comfort in even the strangest of places. School is her mortal enemy on the battle field, but her stubbornness acts as a compromise to maintain some peace. And her heart is still but of a child’s despite the cloak of maturity that shields it from the world. After looking into myself for some answers this is basically in a nutshell what came to mind. But I’m sure there’s so much other stuff to add that I don’t realize at the moment. I’m still trying to figure myself out each day I wake up and begin another cycle of my life. And I may never get to fully understand myself or have someone really know me. Sure I’ll be similar with people in the simple likes and dislikes department, but when it comes to the core of me, it’s up to me to potentially see it and embrace it. We all have the tools necessary to discovering who we are inside; it’s just up to us as an individual person to diligently use them. Without the things that define me that I mentioned beforehand, I wouldn’t have anything to define myself. Everything I do, enjoy, love, despise is all the necessary contributions to the intricate puzzle that forms me. I’d rather not basically be a soulless rock on the side of the road. Creating this blog I realize it has given me the rare chance to indulge into my personal being and discover some new things. Being in a constantly demanding life doesn’t leave much time to do so. Now I can sleep a little better knowing I’m one step closer to clearly revealing the inner me.
ReplyDeleteSotiria I love your willingness to fine something new about yourself because I feel like there we have never stopped learning enough about who we are. With so many different influences it's hard to just pinpoint directly who we are in our own uniqueness. We as human beings and teenagers that we forget that not everyone is supposed to be the same and that being different is okay. I believe that in your willingness figure yourself out you can truly dig deep and find out who you really are.
DeleteSotiria, I like how you fully described yourself without any shame. I used to question who I was and what I was meant to be in life. I think time will tell and eventually everything will be told. Everyone's definition will probably change in less than a month because everyone has experiences that alter our perspective and the way we see things and how we interpret them.
DeleteEven though I didn't mention all the qualities you mentioned, I can totally relate. To be honest, I can't go a day without a home cooked meal either. Over the three day weekend, I went to NYC and all I ate was on the go and everything I ate made me throw up. By the time I got home and actually had the time to eat a home cooked meal, I didn't want anything about food because everything grossed me out.
Yea um. Being a soulless rock doesn't sound very fun. Hahah. But I really like the description you had for yourself. Really definite with no kind of disclaimer like I feel like I'd have to write. But it's definitely a good attitude to have for yourself. That's something I admire. I hope I can at some point know myself as well as you do.
DeleteAt times I think about who I am and wonder when I am older living my own life without school, parents, and just dealing with being a teenager in general would I be any different? Is the person I am now the person I am meant to be? These are the questions that plague me on a daily basis because when it’s often a thought of mine is when I am out living my own life will I be more outgoing, and suddenly become a major athlete I don’t know. In this setting when I am bending my life to so many other people’s conventions like my parents, teachers, coaches and I wonder am I becoming the person I really am or the person they want me to be? I feel like until I answer these questions I can never truly know who I am. If I describe myself as an athlete, musician and a scholar is that completely accurate? Really I am only an athlete when I have to be when I know there are other people counting on me because when crew season is over I keep running to a minimum. I’m a musician because marching band requires is but I’m doubtful if I would still be a musician if was left to my own devices with no else’s opinion involved. I’m scholar because I have to be, I know my future place in society requires it for me to truly be successful like I want to be. However, despite my confusion who I will always be and can describe the person I am right now and I think I’d be Tamirah Robinson, a quiet, funny when she wants to be, book wormy, people pleaser. If I didn’t have these things I think I’d be lost because without the smiles of people when I tell a witty joke or leaning on books to comfort me to escape the confines of my life, or being terrified of disappointing people I’d have nothing to rely on because I there I few things I do without these conventions I don’t know who I truly am and want to be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you it is hard to genuinely describe yourself when there are so many other factors that tie into who you are. Although you may not always consider yourself an athlete, musician, or scholar, you are still entitled to define yourself as all three of those things. It's what makes you who you are even though those traits are physically reflected for the majority of the time. However, those traits may have only been created through everyday conventions and it may or may not be part of your natural inner makeup. We may never actually get down to the basis of who we all really are due to the various factors we need to consider.
DeleteTamirah, I found what you said to be quite interesting. I feel as though a lot of people may be in your shoes at the moment. For instance, I hear students talking about taking honors and AP courses because their parents want them to. Some people even enter careers because their parents want them to enter that specific field. People may continue to do these things as a form of guidance (they may feel lost without the approval of parents). In short, you are not alone and in my eyes, you are amazing.
DeleteI can't pinpoint one specific reason why i loved reading this but i really did love reading it. I think you got it perfectly, so much of out lives now is just us doing and living for others. Also i wish i could find the specifics of what makes me, me, the way you found yours. you sound like you know yourself well
DeleteI LOVED READING YOUR RESPONSE! I love how you were honest and how you came to a conclusion that you didn't know exactly who you are and that will take time. But you are the sweetest person on earth if that helps!
DeleteI loved how you wrote this. Basically because you said what everyone else was thinking, but didn't want to say. We all know that a majority of students only take an AP course to satisfy a past teacher (or worse!) or parent. But the way you said that you take these classes and join clubs because someone relies on you to do so, is totally relatable.
DeleteI honestly respect you so much after reading this blog. Everyone always feels the way you do, but no one will ever admit to it, including me! you are awesome, and so was your response!
DeleteAlonna Bennett: Caring, sincere, hardworking, appreciative, and somewhat athletic. The list is endless though. There will never be enough words to describe any person, because a person in general can be so many different things. This is what my general definition would be, if I had one. I would have this definition because I am all of these qualities and many more. Caring, because I look out for my friends and family and make sure they are ok before I check on my own needs. Sincere is a quality because I am usually up front with people, I am honest because honesty means a lot to me and I feel that if I want honesty given to me I should give it to others, I feel that being hypocritical is wrong. I get my work done no matter what the work is whether it is homework, chores, sports, or job related I get the work done and I usually go above the standards because it is always better to over compensate in my opinion. I think being appreciative is a very good trait and I am glad I acquire it, because no matter how bad we think our lives are it could always be worse, so it is good to recognize what we have and be grateful for it. Finally I am somewhat athletic because I row crew, and it almost consumes your life. This is who I am, every little piece makes up the puzzle that I am. If we were to strip ourselves of our virtues, hobbies, and traits we will still be able to define someone, but that someone will not be the person we call ourselves today. This is because the things that make us who we are in every way the way we speak, act, and think it will completely change us as a person if we strip everything that puts our puzzle pieces together. Who I am and who everyone else is, is different because no one is the exact same person. No matter how close we are in comparison we will never be the same because there are subtle differences that show the difference in us. For example my friend and I are for the most part the same person we like the same food, music, and clothes. If we were to like a certain top our reasoning is probably different, she might like something for its style but I might like it because of the color and this is what little reasoning would separate us. Even though we have those people in our lives who know almost everything about us, they will never truly know everything. This is because there is one little tiny part of our brain that keeps our deepest thoughts and secrets locked away that only we have the key to.
ReplyDeleteAlonna, I completely agree with your statement that we have a part of our brain that holds our secrets. I also agree with "there is no exact same person". Although we may see friends in the hallway that date the same kind of guys, wear the same kind of clothes, and participate in the same ilk of drama, they are different people. They have their own thoughts, their own personal decisions that they have to make, and they have their own struggles. I tend to forget this from time to time and just associate a group of friends with being one person. I feel as though people need to take more time to realize that everyone is there own person; especially parents with multiple kids. Even though I happen to be the only child, I am tired of hearing children say that their parents are comparing them to their older siblings. It is absolutely something I cannot wrap my head around.
DeleteIt’s funny how the littlest things do separate us from really knowing each other. We go about our lives and never really take a deep look into what we really know. Even our own families won’t really know us because of how uniquely diverse every person is.
Delete..........I was trying to help you find words that defines you but guess what? You are an amazing person. Good job Alonna. I completely agree with your blog if not that the law of physics and nature that the efficiency(work) is not 100 percent you deserve it. awesome work.
DeletePeople don’t understand who I really am. They can sit and have lunch with me, attempt to watch television with me, and try to chew the fat with me, and they still wouldn’t know everything about me. Sometimes I am content with this fact; people don’t need to know everything about me. On the other hand, it would be great if I could just sit down with someone and tell them EVERYTHING and not have them look at me like I am the Hydra. For years, I have seen myself as solely a student. School was my “everything”. In fact, those were the days when I was absolutely enamored with the idea of going to school. I was Jasmine with straight A’s, Jasmine the book-worm, and Jasmine the honors student.
ReplyDeleteWhen I transitioned into my sophomore year of high school I finally found out who I really was. School was no longer the highlight of my day. I found that sleep was essential and that I wasn’t getting enough of it. I learned that stress will destroy everything that you are trying to do. More importantly, I learned that I was no longer the happy child that I thought I was. Sure, I would make jokes with my friends, go to the mall, play in the band; but I lacked that energetic feeling that I once had. All I wanted to do was sleep. Nothing was important to me; I no longer had the Midas touch.
This blog is forcing me to strip myself of my academic achievements and any labels that I have been given. Strip myself of all that I have ever known and define who I am. Who am I really? Jasmine is an introvert; she is understanding and misunderstood; she is emotional; she is a lover. It’s not like enjoy being an introvert, I just find it hard to talk to people. I’m not concerned with what people will say to me, I just find initiating a conversation to be quite the struggle. I am very understanding of people because I don’t know everyone’s struggles. I have my own struggles and I don’t want everyone else’s personal problems to pile onto my own personal problems. I am more than likely misunderstood because I can’t seem to get all of my thoughts together in an orderly fashion. For instance, when I see someone aesthetically pleasing, my mind says “Hmm…what a fine specimen of a man”. Unfortunately, my mouth says “His face! I just can’t. It’s too pretty”. I’m not emotional in the sense that I wear my heart on my sleeve; I just tend to think with my heart more than with my brain. As for my being a lover, I just have a really warm and awkward heart.
I am rather relieved that I had to do this blog. I am able to see what really makes me who I am. I’m not just a student, I am a human being. I experience some form of love, I have emotions, and I have my faults. I need to stop seeing myself as being just a student. What will happen when I graduate college and I am no longer a student? Will I lose my way? I will only lose my way if I don’t continue to realize that school is just a portion of my life, not the entire thing. I, Jasmine, am an introvert, an understanding and misunderstood person, an emotional person, and most of all a lover. I wouldn’t change most of these traits for the world, they are who I am.
I absolutely love how you live through your heart, it will always lead the way. I always love how you pointed out that school isn't our entire lives, i feel the same way (probably the reason i'm not doing so hot in my ap classes). i really just love your personality, Jasmine. I've known you a lot longer than i really realized, but i never really learned a lot about you. So with that said i would like to get to know you better, bandanna girl (lol)
DeleteJasmine you're awesome! I just love everything you were talking about. You have a grasp on life and on who you are that i can only wish to someday have. You just seem to get it, and that's friggin awesome! Did I mention that I think everything you wrote was awesome? Because it was awesome. Sorry i just really liked this!
DeleteI don't even know what sleep is anymore, but more than that I don't know what I am without school anymore. I can't keep in mind that it's only a portion - it seems like it's all I do and all I am. And I'm pretty darn aware of the head and heart, aesthetically pleasing, love you have for some. To be honest it's kind of great. Basically this was a great post. And I really like the Midas comparison, too. Getting older is kinda sad.
DeleteYou're phrase, "try to chew the fat with me," confused me so much. I sat at my computer for the past couple of minutes trying to figure out what you meant by that, and then, I decided to continue reading. I really enjoyed reading your post. I especially liked the part where you said, "Hmm…what a fine specimen of a man." Every time I hear you say those types of things, I laugh so hard that I can't breathe.
DeleteSorry but I am starting off my answer to this question with a question. Does anyone ever know? Does anyone ever fully discover themselves or is life really just a journey to see how much you can find out before you inevitably kick the bucket? Sorry if that sounds depressing, it’s not meant to be. I’ve just had a lot of time to think about this over the past year and it is the best conclusion that I can come to. Yeah I’m only 16 but I like to think I’m pretty good at thinking about these things. So who am I so far? Maybe it sounds like a copout but I really don’t know, I spent all weekend plus the past two years pondering this and I’ve never really been able to come to any specific conclusion. I am a person, I exist, I like to be alone but I also like to be around other people. I like reading and music and writing, I like riding my bike with nowhere to go and I like thinking and discussing things that provoke thought. I am a collection of things but do any of those things really make me anything more than an emotionally challenged teenager trying to fumble his way through high school? I can’t think of anything other than that so am I really anything? Maybe I am nothing, for now. That’s the thing though, I have only been able to come to the conclusion that we never truly find out who we are, but I have hope that we actually do. I believe that I don’t have to know who I am yet because I haven’t lived enough to do anything that truly defines me. Next to my name are a bunch of blank lines just waiting to be filled in. Yeah I have been though some stuff, a lot of stuff no one but a few people know about but those are sad things and while the sad things help form us a little they are not the things that make us who we are. What we do in our whole life defines us. The way we decide to play the hand we are dealt is the way we are remembered. Not knowing who you are is far from a bad thing, it is a beautiful thing because it means that we can still work on our definitions of ourselves. So do I know who I am? No! Why? Because I am not supposed to, because I still have time to work on what makes me, me, and that is a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that we never REALLY know who we are. Especially not as 16 and 17 years old's. I mean, lets face it, were still babies. Like you said, we have been through trying situations, we have had a good deal of experiences, but is that really enough to be able to confidently say that we have ourselves all figured out? Absolutely not. Figuring out who we truly are is a lifelong process, and maybe even a lifetime is not long enough to have it all figured out. I don't think that you're nothing right now though, not at all. You are definitely something, you're many things, many great things. And I think that you did a great job of describing a little bit of who you think you are at this point in your life. But I also think that it is totally okay to really have no clue. We have our whole lives ahead of us to work on figuring it out. I loved that you said that it is a wonderful thing, because it is. It's reassuring to know that we don't have to have it all worked out at this point, we still have so much more growing and learning to do.
DeleteVincent, you are not nothing. You are human. This may seem a tad vague, but seeing as you are still living and breathing, this is the best way to describe you. Just as you said, "what we do in our whole life defines us" and seeing as we are only 16, it is going to be harder for us wrap our head around who we truly are. Vince, we have gym class together and I appreciate you helping me lift weights and things of that nature, you are a helpful young man. Don't ever say that you are nothing. Even though you may feel as though you may be nothing, you are always something more in the eyes of someone else.
DeleteI completely agree with your entire response! As humans our whole life is just a journey to find out exactly who we are. Although at the young age of 16 we may know certain ways to describe ourselves, we will never actually know exactly who we are. At age 16 or 72 we are still growing and changing so we can’t really say exactly who we are at any age. I also agree with you when you say that not knowing who we are is good thing. There is always time to change who you are and how people see you. So really, you’re the only person that can define you, and you can define yourself in any way you want.
DeleteI had to stop reading your blog a couple of times because you said exactly what I needed to hear. I couldn't take it. It just didn't seem real.
DeleteI’m sitting here in front of my computer thinking, “Who am I?” Truth is, I really don’t know. I’ve thought of myself as an annoying, short, Asian because I always judge myself by what people say about me. I’d love to say that this has changed, but it truly hasn’t. I get really affected by what people say and I just think that that’s who I truly am. I feel like people always think of me as an annoying and obnoxious person, but I feel like I’m so much more than that. If you really got to know me, you would know that my family and closest friends mean a lot to me, which is why I think that my family and probably just one friend know who I really am. In fact, this one friend might even know me way better than I know myself.
ReplyDeleteBeyond what people think of me is someone that people really don’t know. The true me really only comes out when I’m with a certain group of people. The sad part is, I don’t think everyone will ever get to know who I really am. I just have trouble showing people who I really am because I’m afraid of being judged due to my actions. No one knows that I would gladly help someone if I needed to or that I could actually be quiet. If I were to define myself it would say that I am a person who loves music and could actually be helpful. If we were to be stripped of our traits, hobbies and virtues, I do not believe that we will be able to define ourselves. We are all different people due to the different combinations of traits, hobbies and virtues that we all have. We all have different interests and excel at different things, which gives us our own identities. As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Nice introduction, I had the same feeling about this topic not knowing what to write, if we could only google it (hahahahahahahahahahhahaha) you are an interesting person. Great job.
DeleteI love this Danielle. Just like you and Stov, I am in the same boat. I can't really define myself, but I know I will lways be my own person, and never try to be like anyone else.
DeleteAside from accomplishments, abilities, and other labels given to me by others I do have a definition for myself. My entire life I have been surrounded with nothing but sports, academics, and not failing. Everyone knows me as the girl always smiling, full of energy, gets a long with everyone, and plays sports all year round like a crazy person when that isn’t me. Though all those things are true it doesn’t define me. If we are being honest, I think of it as a mini shield. Most of those things are my security blankets and I use them to hide how I am truly feeling. Most of the time people never realize how certain things affect me whether it is comments made on the field, about a test or anything else. Deep down I am an insecure person that struggles to make everyone happy. I love making peoples day and making my parents proud but when things aren’t good enough it puts a tremendous toll. My insecurities aren’t like those you would think any teenage girl would have. My insecurities are failing at something and the outcome of that. It is mostly a fear of failure and not being able to accept it when it does occur. Though this is how I feel a lot of the time on the inside but I would never let it affect the person I want to be or am trying to become whether it is as an athlete or a student. I love being myself which I am most of the time but sometimes I snap because of stress or holding things in. When people say “Dom, you’re not acting yourself today.” Is when I know things are becoming obvious and I try to not let me put myself down. I always say be true to who you are but I always think you can improve yourself which is where I am at this point in myself.
ReplyDeleteDom, I see you as a great person. I totally agree with you on most of. your points especially when you talked about not letting your bad day affect the people around you. Unlike me i can't tell a lot about myself but you did great.
DeleteI know exactly how you feel Dom. The things you do aren’t what defines you its how you feel inside. I too am guilty of trying to please everyone. I can never be myself because I am always trying to be the person everyone else wants me to be, similar to what you have said. But like you I also put up a shield to hide the way I really feel but in doing this, who you truly are is being lost. So don’t just be who everyone else wants you to be, be yourself and I’m sure everyone will love you just the same.
DeleteI honestly could put my name on this and call it mine. I couldn't have said it beter myself. This is my life in a nutshell.
DeleteI really like how you said be true to who you are, but I always think you can improve yourself, which is where I am at this point in myself. I want to be true to myself but I cant because I hate my true self. I want to change and improve until I finally find my real self and then I will embrace fully. But for now I can’t be true to myself. I am tied down to what other think of me and I really can’t be myself, which is why I wear a mask in public. Great job on the blog.
DeleteI like having quiet time, time where I can go into my room, block out any distractions, be alone and just be able to let my mind wander. I tend to over think many things, go through my day and play it back in my mind. I question some things that I did, yell at myself for the things I regret not trying, or simply praise myself for the accomplishments or over coming of fears that I performed. Normally I would see myself as a girl, going through a semi normal school, sport, homework, fun activities or hangout time type of day. But this blog post is making me think deeper, and go beyond the title of “Oh she’s the gymnast”, or “the gymnast who also takes AP classes”, without those names and or accomplishments in certain areas, who am I? In all honesty I have no clue. I often try to search for ‘who I am’ or who I want to become. But whenever I go on these adventures in search of ‘Me’, I get lost. Being only 16 years old, the only way I really see who I am is as Michaela Mattera a confused, mind boggled teenage girl that has no idea what she is doing half the time. Inside, I try to make the best of every situation, even if something seems to be at rock bottom I know there is a way out. I always look for the bright side of things and try my hardest to cancel out someone’s negativity with my positive attitude. But does that really define who I am? I don’t see it that way. I know though, away from all this I know who I want to work up to become. I want to be able to define myself as a person who, no matter what, is always happy, peace minded, and carefree. I don’t want to worry, or get all stressed out, and find the negative, because as often as I try to stay positive, it seems to be an act for everyone around me, when inside I’m cracking, bursting up in flames. I try my hardest to put others before myself, I like making other people happy and having an optimistic type of personality seems to help people, which pleases me. Whenever someone needs to vent or let their mind open up in a ray of thoughts through words, I’m often there to listen. I love being able to give off positive advice that’ll help someone in the long run. And yet through all of this I can see myself as a hypocrite, for not following up on my own advice. Even after trying to define myself on this blog post my final respond is, I don’t know who I am beyond the world of school, family, friends, and gymnastics. These things are what I use to define who I am, but in reality I can be much more than all this, I just need to find my true self first.
ReplyDeleteMichaela I can really relate to you because you are the type of person I want to be. I want to put others in front of myself and I want to be happy and positive but that isn’t the true me. Like I wrote in my blog I am always wearing a mask so that people can see that I want others to be happy. But that is isn’t the true me because I am selfish and egotistic and I want to change. I really like how you admit that you sometime have these strong emotions. Overall great job on the blog.
Delete“Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another. ”Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815-1902); Sometimes it takes your friends to tell you who you really are, despite the fact that not all is true or may be true. Knowing yourself religious could be the meaning of your name, people like Melchezidek (meaning;king of peace)in the bible had significant meaning to their names which made them who they were.Biologically, it is believed that Human beings carry DNA which is the genetic makeup of people as a result of "special" traits from their parents DNA. However, scientifically who a person is could be based on that. Where a person resides or come from could identity "literally".
ReplyDelete"show me your friend and I will show you your character." this is the quote that describes me in a sentence despite all the facts and figures that could be prpved religiously or scientifically. Being 17 seems to be the perfect age for me but Inés there is day and night , age will never decrease but I could elaborate on some things I have being thought or learned. A good person being your friend doesnot automatically make you a good person but it takes a meaningfull amount of time to be influenced by good people which could also be called Adaptation.
Confident, "ooh Stav is smart", awesome, personally cool and a fairly good singer are the interesting fact I have heard about myself despite the negative aspects of what people say about. I have come to a point in life that to be jugded is better than to judge, I believe that the opnions of others about us should since you could ask for a reason.
. Who am I?
To start with believe,
I am a believer.
In terms of possiblities,
I am hopeful for victory.
For views and acceptance,
Tolerance is a hallmark.
For jokes,
The forth grader is better.
For intelligence,
not that boys are smarter,
is hardwork.
who am I?............
I believe you can only tell if your life on earth was filmed then you could watch and analysis who you were in the after life because seasons rise and fall, Human beings dont change in structure But also character.
I feel like human's question "who they are" and finding themselves in this process is in pretty much every romantic comedy or young adult novel. While this concept of life can be glamorized, over exaggerated, and taken lightly, this form of enlightenment actually can come in the most subtle of ways, but impacts life and sets a path to be taken.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be honest. I have no clue who I am. My friends know me as someone who occasionally has a talent for having a way with words with advice and sorting out their problems, but is mostly a vacuum in their food pantry. My parents at one point knew me as a hyperactive freckled face little girl who grew up to be worrisome, always moving teenager. And I guess everyone else makes up their own perception of me. But I have no idea who I actually am as a soul. I just kind of figure that one day, I'm going to figure that out, and I will finally be content and satisfied with what the world has thrown at me. However, I'm getting ahead of myself.
To even begin to question who I am is like entering a labyrinth. Mostly because, if one were to look at my hobbies and accomplishments, from the outside, I'm basically a walking symbol of freaking high school musical. (If there is confusion of what this movie about, it focuses on a high school basketball hottie that discovers he can sing and joins drama, causing the entire school to explode in widening their horizons and not "sticking to the status quo). I walk around wearing my varsity soccer warm up outfit, but meander my way into the comforting cocoon of the choir room. I drown in the work of AP classes, yet be sure to attend the football. But as stated above in the prompt, these are just "things." They may mean a lot to me, and take up my days, but if I were to stop participating in one of these things, the world's order wouldn't change. Besides a few questions asking why I did it, it would have been like it never happened. But these activities and talents and hobbies have a deeper meaning to myself that makes me how I define myself.
Though at times I enjoy myself with everything I do, I joined everything I did because ever since I was little, I was told that it makes me look good for college. I did everything I could to be a “good girl” to look good on a paper. It was even to the extent that, I kid you not, when I received a recess detention in third grade, I cried and begged my teacher to not punish me, because I thought it would be on my permanent record and Princeton would not approve. While I’m no longer shooting for a school that sounds like Disney princesses would attend, I try everything to please my peers and family. Once I joined an activity I liked, I found a higher scale and got addicted to involvement and impressing others for the pure joy in satisfying others. So through this rambling, I’m trying to say that my defeniition of me for now, is not necessarily who I truly am and who I will be. Because in my mind, I guess I, Maggie Madamba, the girl with the random Filipino last name and tendency to be awkward and exuberant in every aspect of life, is right now, a people pleaser. I am one of involvement with every field of interest, to open oppurtunities for the future. I’m a normal teenager that in this confusion of labels and belonging, will eventually find their real place in this world, and will use these random accomplishments for something greater than myself.
It really is funny to see how similar we are. I just posted mine and we both wrote about how we're people pleasers. But we have both always known that about each other. As for right now, it may not be a bad thing for the two of us because it's how we have to be I guess to get to where we want to be in our futures. But hopefully it brings us to a brighter side of knowing ourselves.
DeleteWhen it all comes down to it, will any of us really know who we are? Will we ever be able to define our genuine selves through words on paper? Without a thorough thought process, I can define myself by very basic things such as traits, hobbies, and virtues. I could say that I am creative, athletic, determined, etc.; but is that really who I am. Am I naturally the way I am or have I just been influenced by my surroundings? This blog has lead me into a mini existential crisis due to the fact that I can’t seem to figure out who I am without the influences of society shaping up my personality. Regarding school, activities, peer influences, and anything of that nature, I am nothing. I have come to find that I can’t be defined because no one really knows who I am. I barely know who I am. I am not too worried about this idea of not knowing my true identity because there is so much that I haven’t been exposed to as a teenager living with restrictions. Once I am more independent, I will probably get a better sense of who I really am. For now, I can only judge myself based on my influences. Temporarily, I can say that I am the one who is determined and passionate when it comes to competitive activities such as sports and even academics. I can say that I am generally kind and quiet around my peers. However, I know that that is just a surface observation and that maybe I am a completely different person that I was never brave enough to express. It’s a fact that there is no way for me to give a concrete definition of myself because my attitude and personality tend to change based on who I may be commuting with. There are multiple sides of Emily Hoang that some may always see and some may never see at all. There are some that just identify me by sports and activities that I am part of but that doesn’t say much either. Labels shouldn’t characterize who I am as an individual but I have just gotten so used to being identified by the basic traits, hobbies, and virtues that I only interpret myself in a basic way. I can’t think deeply about my identity without tracing back to characterizations based off of what society has shaped me up to be over my 16 years of life. Once I get the chance to be more independent, I will hopefully be more open to expressing my individuality thus leading me on the right path to discovering my true identity. Right now, I am just too restricted by the person I have already publicly projected myself as. Maybe even after I have gotten the chance to experience independence as a true individual I will still have trouble defining myself. Maybe I will only ever be able to define myself to this extent. I am willing to overcome this intricate question and make it a life goal to find my true identity.
ReplyDeleteThroughout life, we always wonder where we stand, and who we are. We always try to fit in and be like everyone else. We never want to stand out as that “weird girl” or that “nerd”. If I have learned one thing in high school, it is that in this place, in these four walls, if you get nothing from AP history or algebra two, you will learn to find yourself. You will learn that through all of your struggles, you will find the beautiful human being that you’ve inspired yourself to become, that whoever you role model was, and whoever you looked up to has defined you to be who you are going to be forever.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up with three other sisters each only two years apart, I’ve always felt that I needed to fit in. I needed to wear the same clothes, and shoes as my older sisters, because that was the “style.” I constantly lived my life by what others thought of me. Maybe if I was seen in Justice, people would make fun of me, so I would make my mom take me to Hollister, and American Eagle. It wasn’t until high school when I realized I should stop living for other people, and live for myself.
My freshman year of high school I met my boyfriend Danny, who now have been dating for two years. He knows me more then anyone, and it didn’t take him long to realize that I had not been living the way I should. One day he told me, “Logan, why do you care what other people think of you, let them say what they want, because if they’re going to talk about such an inspirational girl like you, they obviously have never met you.” After that day, I can honestly say my life changed. I really took those words into prospective and realized he was right. Why try to impress anyone, when I have all that I could ever want.
To define myself is very hard. I would like to say I’m a care free and young spirited girl, in which I am, but I’d have to categorize myself as a “go getter”. I believe I have every type of ambition in this world. I set goals for myself that I may not achieve for years, but I always look ahead, and stay positive. I’m the type of girl who always wants to smile. I want my smile to be so contagious that it can light the entire universe. I understand by just looking at me, you wouldn’t catch that vibe, but just like I’ve always been taught, “nobody knows you better then you know yourself.”
I would feel naked without my smile, my ambition, and determination. I would be like the Naked Cowboy in the middle of New York City. Honestly though, anyone could take anything away from me, and I would still be the happy go lucky girl that I am. You can take all of my materialistic things, but you can never snatch my smile. Even on my worst days, I will smile, I will be positive because there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel.
Defining myself has been one of the most challenging tasks of my life. I’ve gone through some pretty rocky roads that have made me find myself. I wouldn’t give up those struggles for the world though. I’m like Ariel, you can give me “A Whole New World” one day at a time, and step by step I’ll make it into one big ocean full of my success’.
Part One:
ReplyDelete"You are Aubree. You are a strong, golden-heartd girl who always has something to give. And is never there to take. You take pride in what you do, as you should for you do it well. You are intelligent. No amount of school work is too much. However do not forget that a great deal of learning is done on your own. Without curriculums. You always support your peers and expect nothing in return. You dedicate yourself to tasks to acheive goals and you then pursue them with aggression. You are a hooligan at times, but you are entitled to such actions at this age. You are a role model to many. A leader amongst your class mates. A good friend through good times and bad. A wonderful lover and all around amazing girl. "
I asked somebody who I believe knows me better than myself to give me an outside perspective on how they see me after knowing me for what seems to be years, it guided me in the direction I truly wanted to take while writing this blog.
My name is Aubree Elizabeth Tomasello and I am the most confusing human being on this planet. 40% of the time I'm frazzled anxious and spazzing out about something pointless. Another 40% of the time I'm loud and annoying. And the last 20% of the time I'm indifferent towards everything- not a care in the entire world. Now if you add all of that up it results back in my original statement- I am the most confusing human being on the planet. I don't just confuse the people around me, I send my own mind on a rollercoaster 99% of the time. Everything I do has nothing to do with defining me. Cross country, track, the AP classes- none of them have anything to do with who I am, because that's what everybody says defines them- their talents and hobbies. I honestly don't even think that 60% of adults know who they are. That's what the journey of life is- finding yourself and loving yourself. All my life I have been a people pleaser. Ask a few of my friends and they will most likely say the same statement- "She's too nice." This sentence has been forever haunting me by my best friends, my teachers, and most importanly my family. The result of me being a "people pleaser," does in fact force me to be "too nice." In my eyes I'm not overly-friendly. I just want the best for other people no matter what I have to go through to make their day even a little better. However, unfortunately, I don't think that defines me. I think there's all reasons for why I am a overly kind people pleaser. Reasons being that I have been grown into a girl who is expected to impress the family she came from, to follow in her brothers footsteps, get into college, score well on the SATS, participate in everything, to never disappoint, and still managle to keep my head on straight. It's not how I want to be, it's just who I have grown into. I am certain about one thing, and maybe it is in fact only one thing of myself. I am 100% positive that if somebody tells me I can't do something, I'm going to accept that as a challenge and prove them wrong.
Part Two:
ReplyDeleteOne thing I am certain of is that I have, will, and can overcome any hardship or obstacle in my life. Whether it may be as something as simple as improving my grades, or something as serious as moving on from death of family, or even my own depression. I will get through anything that life will throw at me. I will work my butt off and stay up all hours of the night to get good grades. I'll train 24/7 to get a faster time each race. This isn't because I have to impress my family, or because it's how I've "grown to be," like orginially stated, but it's because I need to feel accomplished in my eyes. I need to fight through everything, fight through the pain of the last mile of a ten mile run, or fight through my tiredness when I'm about to pass out doing my homework. I do it because I wabt to say at the end of the day to myself, "You did it. Congratulations, and perform better tomorrow." Every morning I wake up and repeat to myself, "You can do it, anything is possible, and you're a tank." No matter what "God," wants to throw my way, "he" better just know something twenty times better will be coming back his way. Realizing all of this on my own throughout the past few days I have come to one final conclusion about who I am, and one short, but strong definition. I, Aubree Tomasello, am the true definition of a fighter.
All I am in this world is a 5’ by 1’ by maybe 6” mass of contradictions stumbling my way from one place and state of being to another. If it were not already made obvious by my awkward personality and just about every bit of writing I’ve ever done, I’m not a very sure person in any respect. In a dictionary, next to my name, there would just be one question mark. Actually more than one. Only an infinite number of question marks would be able to show how utterly inept I am at describing myself, which is of course even harder without the usual traits and labels. It probably is just another thing that shows my weakness as a person, but usually I just go along with what other people say in regards to who I am.
ReplyDeleteIt’s boring, but I just don’t really think I’m anything without those usual answers. I’m just a collection of thoughts and values, and I feel like without them I’m just an empty shell of a person. This is a hard blog. Seriously, without the normal fallbacks I’m useless. Defining one’s self is one of those things that takes hours and hours of introspection, most of which is fruitless, but I can’t come up with anything even then. I don’t know what there is in a person normally, and it doesn’t help that I probably know other people better than I know myself. Usually I try to actively avoid spending too long thinking about myself because there are just so many other things that’d require my immediate attention, but even before that whatever I found within were probably just things I didn’t want to know, so I stopped. It’s not as if I still don’t have time to figure out who I really am, but it’s just too difficult. I know that whatever I do, I truly mean well. I know I’m incapable of harboring any hard feelings toward anyone or anything, and I pretty much just love everyone. Tennis is my true love, and I value faith and honesty above all – but those are all things I am not allowed to name.
One of the greatest truths in life is that no matter how hard you try, and no matter how well you know another person and have experienced the same things, you can’t 100% know them. It’s not possible. I’m not sure anyone can 100% know themselves. People are surprised by themselves and others all the time, because human capacity and traits and feelings change all the time, but I guess you can’t change who you really are – not majorly anyway. I don’t know. I don’t know anything.
You have told me on various occasions that you love pretty much everyone, but you never told me why. So I'm asking you now, why is that? Why do you love everyone?
DeleteIt's become something of a joke at this point. But I just kinda do. Like I've said in previous posts, there's a reason I have all kinds of friends and that sometimes they aren't liked by many others. It helps that I happen to be really good at blatantly ignoring what other people have to say about people, and I have an extremely high patience tolerance for people. Higher than it should be. I just always think there's a reason someone is some way, so I can't blame them for whatever personality fault might drive away others. If it's just how someone is, then I'd try my hardest to accept it, but really I don't even notice bad things all that often. And just.. I don't know. It's weird to explain. There are reasons I find to admire everyone. There's a reason I'm such a 'creep' all the time. Sorry if anything of this makes me sound conceited or anything. I'm trying to think of how to say it properly. I'm actually not a very good person at all, but in this respect I happen to like myself.
DeleteWell not like conceited.. But more like make myself sound like a better person than I am. Blah. Sorry. You know what I meant.
DeleteIn life people are always trying to find their true selves or they are trying to hide their true self. For me I am of the later group of people in which I am trying to hide my true self. I don’t fully know who I am, but I do know that I don’t want people to find out. Human beings are always try to hide their true self. This is out fear from the harsh judgment of another person. Because of this fear no one will ever truly know the true face of another person. Also a person will never truly find out who they are as long as they are wearing a mask because they aren’t confronting their true self. So no one will ever know who I am and I don’t fully know who I am too. When people see me they will immediately see a student who does great in school, but is a little bit awkward and shy. I have labels such as “ The crazy students who is taking 5 AP class” or “someone in the top ten”. However that is just a mask I put on in public so no one will never see the real me. People will believe my definition if I told them that I am a good student who works hard, but is lacking in confidence and a little bit awkward. However that will be my mask definition and not the real me. My real definition will be that I am a lazy student, who takes longer than anyone to finish homework. That I am selfish, judgmental, and scared. I am bit of a nerd by watching anime and reading manga. I am also a hopeless romantic in that I am jealous of everyone in a relationship, which is sad because I really do want people to be happy. I really hate to admit it but this the real definition of me. I try to be modest and kind, but somewhere in my deep consciousness I am thinking that I am better than everyone. I want to be a nice person and find the good in people but I am not. I am very cynical, overconfident, and a just a plain old jerk. If all my accomplishment and virtues were to be taken away then I will be like anyone else. I wont be able to truly define myself because those things influence and help characterize myself. Without all those character, virtues and traits I will be a meaningless and worthless. These are the stuff that defines me for who I am and without it I will be like everyone else. I am still going through life and I haven’t truly discovered my true self, but I will and when that time comes I will embrace it instead of hiding behind a mask.
ReplyDeleteI’m not completely sure who I am. I feel like there are still some puzzle pieces out there to be found-puzzle pieces consisting of traits, hobbies, and virtues. Without those three things, I would be nothing. I would basically be a plant-no personality, nothing.
ReplyDeleteI think that my physical appearance has had a very big impact in the making of myself. I’ve always been one of the shortest people in my grade, clubs, groups of friends, etc. Along with being short, I look much younger than I actually am, so I tend to act that age sometimes. It is just how I am. My actions fit my look, and it feels natural most of the time. I express myself through obnoxious laughter, awkward dancing, and loads of love and hugs. Of course sometimes I get sick of being a little kid, so I act like a 16 year old girl and hope that my friend’s respect for me remains unscathed. In simpler terms, I am a wimp that cowers under pressure, and that is okay because I know that at some point this year I’ll manage to gather up the courage to be myself without the fear of being judged.
Aside from physical attributes, I was that little kid that 10000% loved playing house which explains why I love acting so much. I love pretending to be someone that I’m not. I enjoy creating a voice/background for a character because I can’t be judged for his/her actions. I use this to help me discover what I want to see in myself: forgiveness, compassion, honesty, and respect. It all seems cliché. I know, but there is a deeper meaning to these seemingly random virtues. These are all of the things I don’t see in my dad and some are things I don’t see in my mom. I’ve always been terrified of becoming him. That and having friends that make me feel alone are probably tied for my greatest fear. He always fights with my sister because they have nearly identical personalities. I don’t want to be that way with anyone. I don’t want to constantly fight not because I don’t have faith that I can win, but because I don’t think that fighting solves anything for me. It just makes things worse because I have more of a reason to hold a grudge. I’d rather try to understand than fight because I don’t understand.
I’ll be honest; I don’t always do the things I mentioned. I’m not perfect. There is always a dark side to the story. I’m not always the happy, bubbly little angel some of you know me to be. I chose those five words as my main virtues because they are the ones that I think I struggle with the most. Forgiveness has always been something I struggle with because I’m not the type of person that can just forgive and forget. I hold grudges, but I don’t like telling people that because I find it difficult to rip the bandage off. In other words, I’m a Band-Aid soaker because I respect and care about people too much to hurt them. Honesty always seems to get the short end of the stick. I guess Gabrielle Cruz is just a mixed up, emotion-driven, contradictory teenager who has a lot to figure out.